Lifestyle

10 Things You Need for a Better Love Life

If you feel like the perfect lover, this should be no more than a routine exercise of you ticking those boxes in your mind and nodding your head in self-accomplishment. If however, you acknowledge your shortcomings in this very sensitive aspect of daily life, these are just a few major guidelines to help enrichen your heart and mind in ways which to strengthen your relationship(s).

  1. Know your partner. One of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship is the knowledge of one’s partner. Sure you can fall in love with someone you barely know or in the widely debated cases of love at first sight, have absolutely no knowledge of their personality in the beginning. For a better definition of the love you feel for a person, you need to know as much about him or her as they are willing to share with you. Ask the persons you love about themselves and in a like manner, reveal as much about yourself as you can but make sure you work with a steady pace, ensuring that you are both comfortable with the level at which you both get to know each other.
  2. Admit your love is not perfect. Failure to agree to personal flaws is detrimental to the health of your relationship because it prevents you from acknowledging that as couples, you have to keep building each other up every day. Perhaps more difficult than accepting the flaws of a partner is accepting your own personal flaws for various reasons such as pride or fear of abandonment. However, if you really trust the love you have for a person, there should be no greater pride than that which a successful relationship with them will fill you with, and if they truly love you, then you do not deserve to feel an iota of insecurity fully exposing them to your imperfections.
  3. Focus less on personal flaws and more on personal efforts. As a young child, whenever my younger sister was asked why she wasn’t growing any taller, her often response was a brief frown followed by the words “but I’m trying to”. While we knew she had little or no say in how tall she would grow, deep inside I always admired her for that answer. We have more control over how much we change than how tall we grow (obviously) but change will not manifest itself overnight and while some changes may never be fully implemented, sincere efforts towards self-improvements for the sake of a loved one should never go unappreciated.
  4. Stop expecting but don’t stop giving. By placing your confidence in the love your partner claims to feel for you, you need to know the rest is up to you. Love does fade, no matter how true. Maybe true love never dies but when you stop working towards making that love grow, it does the opposite. If you don’t believe in true love, you will never believe that true love is enough. In cherishing the love we receive, we must nurture it by paying back with love ourselves. Expecting something in return for the love we show is putting a price on that love. There is no assurance the love will last if we don’t get the reward we feel we deserve for displaying our affections so rather than expecting a reward for love, we should hope to be loved in return.
  5. Think about them first, think about yourself second. Love involves a lot of things and one of them is sacrifice. We often hear people say “I would take a bullet for him/her”. There is probably no greater sacrifice that the readiness to lay one’s life to spare the life of another. Thankfully, those judgment days don’t often come by and so we can escape the gravity of having to prove such a claim, but the level of sincerity in those words will see us making daily sacrifices for the person we feel worthy of our sincere love.
  6. Speak with your actions and listen with your heart. We are probably tired of hearing how much dividends communication yields in relationships, yet the reason we hear it so often is because people who re-echo that advice were once victims faltering relationships due to failed communications. Men should be extra attentive in this aspect, as women place enough trust in their men to understand their emotions without their verbal expression. An inattentive man will encounter difficulties in finding out what his woman wants if he fails to read into her body language as much as a woman could wreck a healthy relationship by failing to understand the seriousness in the words of her man.
  7. Never manipulate a loved one, especially mentally. That is the utmost disrespect for the vulnerability they exposed based on the trust they placed in you. Remember you and your partner are a team. When one loses you both lose. Verbal fights are a million times better than cold wars. Have respect for their feelings and for the battles they had to overcome in opening up to you. By playing mind games with someone you love, you do more damage to their ego than you can imagine. In the case where a member of a team feels less worthy, the worth of the team drops and along with that, the team will hardly win where it has done before.
  8. Be randomly sweet. Call when you don’t have to. Give them compliments whenever you can. In a true love story, the romance should never end. The more spontaneous love is, the more the excitement it brings. Men may feel that the end of the chase marks the end of the thrill while women tend to make the mistake of leaving all the romantic duty to the males. After getting his girl, a man has a lot more to do to keep her by his side – much more than he did to get her, and a woman should always remind him of that. A woman is more than a trophy for the cabinet collection, yet even a trophy needs to be constantly polished to uphold its value to the person who earned it.
  9. Understand what true love means. Love is crazy and it leads us to unexpected places at times. Sadly enough it could mean struggling to find joy in seeing someone you love with a person he or she has the opportunity to be as happy or even happier as they were or will be with you. If you are willing to do crazy things for love, sacrifice should be very near to the top of that list.
  10. Don’t stop believing in what you feel and never be ashamed for what you felt. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. If it made you feel that special tingle in your tummy, it was worth it. Believe love can come when we least expect it and from who we least expect. Never doubt the possibility that the unlikeliest person has what it takes to make you feel the most likeable way. Celebrate love every day and do it proudly.
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